Rule #1 – DON’T
Ain’t nobody got time for that! While dating would be a fantastic distraction (one of my favorite distractions of all time) that is all it would be, and most likely a destructive one at that. I have more important things going on right now that require my attention. Such as scheduling PET scans, getting second opinions from neuro-oncologists, and researching treatment options. Spending time with friends and family; paying attention to how I’m feeling; and blogging about the shit going through my head! Let’s not forget Saffie…
Rule #2 – When you break Rule #1, do so as a social experiment
So truth be told, the week after learning about my brain tumor, I posted two online dating profiles at the same time, using different user names, on Plenty of Fish. It was a pleasant distraction that turned into an interesting social experiment.
One profile was for “looking for a serious relationship” and the other was for “dating only, not looking for a commitment”. I did not mention the brain tumor in the “relationship” profile, but put it in the first line of the “dating only” profile.
Dude! Within an hour I had like 6 responses to my dating only profile in which I disclosed my brain tumor. Most of them were flat-out propositions of the like that I cannot share in detail here. My mom reads this! No, mom, I did not take any of them up on their inquiries. One guy just said hi and wished me well, and one other told me about his experience with his cancer, saying that he never talks to anyone about it anymore.
I did communicate via the website with a few guys, but then said goodbye and cancelled my profiles. Like I said, a minor distraction during the initial shock of hearing, “you have a brain tumor.”
I was trying to prove to myself that I am date-able, therefore in my mind, love-able, even with a damn brain tumor. But there is nothing to prove. There is no outside validation needed. Not only am I love-able, I am a damn fine person/woman/child of God/stardust. Plus, I have a f*cking galaxy in my brain, how cool is that?!
More will be revealed…