Bargaining with The Dude.

I haven’t written in awhile due to spending several days in a comatose state, paralyzed by subconscious anxiety.  Followed by several days recovering from the comatose state and re-engaging with life.

I have found myself internally bargaining with God.  If You heal me, God, I promise to be a living testament of faith in You.  If not, well then, all bets are off and F You. Not exactly spiritual, but very much human.  A friend said to me this morning, “God is a Big Dude, and can handle your anger and doubt.”

I should find out the results of my 3 month MRI, which I had last Friday, in the next two days.  Can you believe that they won’t rush the radiologist for ME??

I’m holding out for a complete healing miracle.  I’d settle for no signs of growth.

More will be revealed…

In Love and Gratitude (even when I can’t feel it)

Dawn

5 thoughts on “Bargaining with The Dude.”

  1. Love you lady, you are not alone. I know you’re going through some tough shit. I’m here for you in whatever way is helpful. Day or night, if you want to talk ever (or just hang out) don’t hesitate. Sending you lots of love and prayer!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Heather, I’m glad and sad that you can relate! Just logged in to read and follow your blog… and I really relate to your experiences as well, even though I am not physically symptomatic.

      Like

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