I haven’t written in awhile due to spending several days in a comatose state, paralyzed by subconscious anxiety. Followed by several days recovering from the comatose state and re-engaging with life.
I have found myself internally bargaining with God. If You heal me, God, I promise to be a living testament of faith in You. If not, well then, all bets are off and F You. Not exactly spiritual, but very much human. A friend said to me this morning, “God is a Big Dude, and can handle your anger and doubt.”
I should find out the results of my 3 month MRI, which I had last Friday, in the next two days. Can you believe that they won’t rush the radiologist for ME??
I’m holding out for a complete healing miracle. I’d settle for no signs of growth.
More will be revealed…
In Love and Gratitude (even when I can’t feel it)