on freaking the f**k out. or not.

So, I’m not getting much sleep these days.  OK, that’s an old photo, but really captures how I feel.  I think Bob (the galaxy on my brain-stem) is a night owl. He pretty much talks to me all the time, but he’s louder in the quiet of the night. Jerk. I’m really trying to make friends, but he’s a bit of a bully.  I mean, it’s not like I invited him to move in!  My friend Mary said he must have been stalking me for awhile.  Now he doesn’t want to get evicted… but I’m calling in the big-boys. Time to slap a restraining order on that galaxy!

It’s interesting how much the body tells us that our mind tries to hide from our awareness. My upset stomach lets me know that I am experiencing a high level of anxiety, although my mind is telling me that it’s all going to be ok and not to worry. I’ve been riding the hell out of this emotional roller-coaster of WTF is going on.  Oh, hey everybody, I have a brain tumor!

I have fairly low-key freak-outs, with lots of random and sporadic “what the F**K”s flying out of my mouth.  My roommate has also held me through several snotty, loud, uncontrollable crying fits. You know, the really ugly loud sobbing kind of crying. Man it feels good letting go like that!

I was going to interject into this post something inspirational along the spiritual lines, followed with some witty tumor humor (I am full of that these days) but I’m flipping exhausted now.

First neurology appointment after my MRI reports tomorrow at 8:30am.  Maybe I’ll try to sleep… shut up, BOB!!!

Thanks for reading along… more will be revealed,

Dawn